Are You Okay?

Dedicated to: Stacy

This post is in response to a friend of mine's post titled, "How Are You?"

I'm sure you guys have experienced a time when you accidentally hurt yourself and induced the question of "are you okay?" from an innocent bystander or friend.  This notorious phrase has many implications. What does "how are you?" really mean? For example, is the phrase supposed to be asked when you are actually there at the moment the person hurts himself or herself? Or are you supposed to ask the question when you see a person that appears to be hurt? OR, is this just an idiotic question that shouldn't be asked at all?

Personally, I think the first case makes the most sense, because the second case just seems out of place and stupid.

Picture this:

You are walking on the side-walk and suddenly, this huge crack on the side-walk unexpectedly appears. The crack raises a portion of the side-walk juuuuuust high enough for you to trip on.

<SLLOOWWWW MOOTTIIOONNNN FALLLLLLL>

The next moment, you find yourself on the pavement with an unreasonably large, deep, long scrape on your knee that's bleeding an unreasonably amount of blood, and on top of that, out of nowhere of course, another person walking hurriedly by you drops an unreasonably large textbook on your head that leaves an unreasonably large bruise. Trust me, this could happen.

Anyways, after the person picks up his book from the pavement and quickly walks away leaving you a fleeing apology, another individual kindly stops to see if they can provide some assistance.

"Are you okay?"

Social etiquette protocol automatically brings a generic response of, "oh I'm okay, it's fine, thanks" out of you.

In reality, this is what should be going on in your head (feel free to insert your own expletives):

"F*********ck!!!! MOTHER F*********CKER!!!! NO, I'm NOT okay. You DUMBASS, get down here and HELP ME UP. GEEZ, why am I GUSHING out blood. CAN'T YOU SEE I am INJURED and BLEEDING PROFUSELY. Once again, NO, I'm NOT okay."

Perhaps, now you guys can see why "are you okay" doesn't necessarily make a situation better :) In any case, I think that from now on, we should all try and stick to comments like "hey, can I help you," "here, let me carry your stuff," or even, "oh man, I'm sorry I need to get to class, but <insert directions> is how you get to the medical center" can be more helpful phrases than "are you okay."

Hopefully, this has been truthful to reality and entertaining. Until next time, my friends!