Don't Forget How Far You've Come

Dedicated to: Those Who Keep Fighting

All of you who share the same college year as me are almost at that halfway point in our undergrad years. Everyone else, no worries, what I'm about to write is applicable to all walks of life and educational levels. In this post, I want to write about the importance of keeping our dreams and goals alive.

Last week I experienced again the feeling that everything, particular school, was just not going the way I wanted it to.  Fortunately, it doesn't come often, but I was tired. Tired of school. Homesick for my friends. Angered at my unimpressive performance in Japanese. Things just weren't going right.

I mean, what's "right" anyways? Do we really want all our lives to be a perfect melody played on our favorite instrument? I don't know. It's hard to say. What I do know, is that how ever much others would want to argue, I strongly believe that every human being on this Earth has a purpose - a goal to fulfill. What I experienced that day, was how simple the goal(s) could escape in the realm of reality, which can be so easily filled with hate, despair, and worry. Since that day, I've been trying to figure out how to combat those feelings of dissatisfaction and loss of hope. I may have found a possible solution.

Sitting in my chair with my head hanging over another disappointing result in my Japanese class, I start mentally punish myself for my suckage in Japanese.

Geez, Saph, way to screw up AGAIN. Now, passing this class is going to be even harder.....way to not do what you said you were going to do....suckfest....ughhhhh.....


<pause>

Ok, so, long story short, everything was just sucking. Point of the matter is that I started to realize how dwelling on the problem wasn't doing anything. Why think of the problem, when thinking about the solution is so much more effective? One of the hardest lessons to learn is understanding when to move on. If we always dwell on the past or some horrific moment, not only will the event end up eating us up from the inside, but corrode away who we really are on the inside and out. I'm not the type to whine and I'm not the type to be put down by failure. But, as you can read, it's not always easy to stay true to yourself.

This is when your friends, family, or mentors come in. In those darkest moments in life, a smile from a good and trusted individual can be more than a helpful act in turning the light back on. You know that saying, "keep your friends close, your enemies closer?" Well, here's another one for the book,"keep your sanity close, your friends closer." We know the tell-tale fact that nobody is perfect. We've all got a little insanity inside of us. I think that's what really makes us individuals.  In some ways, our friends aren't just our better halves (or thirds, or fourths, I guess it depends on how many you have), but part of what greatly helps in keeping our grip on life. The happiness and sorrows in Life is in itself a gift, and it's not something you can be Asian about by re-packaging it and giving it away.  Sometimes, holding on to Life is easier said than done.  But, Life is just one of those things that are truly priceless. It's one of those things that makes everyone equal. Unless you are a cat, of course.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that no matter what, it's not that there is sometimes no Hope, because Hope is always there.  Hope is a concept that people fall back on when Life is in it's darkest moment. There is only Hope when people believe, and believing is what gives Life a chance to rebound and get out of the darkness.

I may have sucked on multiple Japanese assignments and some other school related stuff, but the truth of the matter is that I can't do anything about it anymore, but move on and Hope to do better by taking action in my Life. The idea of Life is beautiful. Life is simply being. And, being can be hard as hell at times, but hey, that's just Life. Take it, and Live it.